some days, I don’t even trust myself.

So, here’s the deal, internet.

You may have noticed that I haven’t been around much in the last few months. Basically, since finishing up the Christmas show I did last December and then the Big Audition I had at the beginning of April, there just hasn’t been much to write about.

standing in line with two hundred girls who are younger (& thinner!) than me.

So: I went! I did it! (I’m number 1, as evidenced in that top left picture.)

Because I have the sense of direction of a thumbtack, I somehow ended up in a totally different city than I needed to be to get on the train. Seriously, I’ve driven to that train station a frillion times, I don’t know how this happens to me other than the fact that I have the sense of direction of a thumbtack. I ended up being a half an hour out of my way and had to turn around to backtrack and finally get to the station I needed.

I have to thank the lady who sat down next to me on the Orange Line and talked at me (about her nails and her husband and people being rude on the train) for the ten minutes or so we shared a train – sincerely – I really needed the distraction. The nerves I lamented not feeling yesterday afternoon were in full force about an hour earlier than I even needed to wake up, and didn’t abate until I was finished.

what’s the name of the game?

Okay, I shouldn’t have wished for nerves. Because NOW I am nervous. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

could we begin again?

I actually do have a big audition tomorrow afternoon but I (obviously) haven’t written anything about it. I’ve been feeling very…internal, lately. Private. Not wanting to share. Other synonyms.

I had to learn two monologues – or I suppose, more accurately, relearn them – and today I went out and got my headshots printed and have to play elementary school art class later to paste my resumes to the backs of them. This auditioning thing is expensive, really, considering I’m going to be taking the train in tomorrow too!

I suppose I should be excited for tomorrow, or at the very least nervous, but right now I just feel kind of tired and not even the slightest bit optimistic. It could be that it’s Sunday – for whatever reason, Sundays lately have been uniformly awful for me – but I don’t really see this audition working out for me. I guess going in with low expectations means that I won’t be disappointed, but I wish I could work up some enthusiasm!

I might have more to write tonight or even tomorrow morning before I leave, but for now I’ll leave it here.

I’ll make this painless, I’ll try to be sweet.

So, I’ve been slacking, haven’t I? Gosh! No posts in all of February!

To be honest, I haven’t been doing much to write about. There’s the additional fact that I used to draft my posts on my lunch break at work, and now my work blocks WordPress (??) so although I do finally have something to write about, I haven’t had as much of an opportunity.

My two best friends and I started on a new project that we’ve dubbed Get It Together Anonymous, or GITA. All three of us have long-term goals that we range from somewhat-to-ridiculously overwhelmed just thinking about, so my darling D came up with the brilliant idea that we would be Accountability Partners.

Basically, we’re getting together once a month to start breaking down our long-term goals into tiny manageable steps. Doing this together creates accountability – and it has the added benefit of being a built-in sounding board. You know how it’s always so much easier to see other people’s problems clearly? Well, now I have TWO people looking at my problems and helping me see them more clearly on a regular basis.

I think an excellent way to help keep myself on track will be to update this blog on a regular basis again, so here’s a breakdown of my goals.

My long-term goal is to get more paid acting work, though one of my other long-term goals is refining and redefining my long-term goal. The upshot of every iteration of my long-term goal is to start getting paid acting work, though.

it’s been such a long time. I think I should be going.

I am sorry for the silence lately, everyone!

I’m sort of re-evaluating things in light of the new year – resolutions, the direction I expect my life to be taking at this point. You know, all the usual new-year stuff. A lot of it is fairly personal, so I don’t have much to write about at the moment.

But even before the new year, I didn’t write much in the past couple of months. In truth, there was not an awful lot to write about with regards to acting, since I didn’t audition for anything while I was working my Halloween and Christmas jobs (and I’d sort of exhausted that topic already). I haven’t been to a singing lesson in months, and what I did write about was the Secret Government Eggo Project – which seems to have gotten a good reception, at least by friends and family. :)

Hopefully in the next few weeks I’ll be able to write more clearly about what my goals for the year are. (I honestly don’t remember what my “New Year’s Resolutions” were other than the fact that I wasn’t allowed to give up singing for one of them and I wasn’t allowed to lose thirty pounds for the other.) As of right now, I’m just looking for things to audition for and wondering about how I’m going to pay for my singing lessons if I do take them back up again. Any further into the future just gets a little fuzzy and hard to focus on for too long.

Hopefully soon, though…!

the secret government eggo project is nigh.

And the Secret Government Eggo Project is a go!

PC finished arranging last night, and he and I finished burning and assembling CDs this afternoon, so the Secret Government Eggo Project is officially done!

As you all might have guessed, the Secret Government Eggo Project is, actually, an album. A Christmas album, to be exact! In the interests of putting myself out there, I’ve decided to share some of the album with all of you that have traveled along on my journey with me!

(Eventually I will write about my ~*feelings*~ with regards to this, but not just yet.)

christmas!: or the secret government eggo project

Click on the album art above to be taken to my brand spanking new Bandcamp site, where you can listen to and download a sampling of tracks from the album! (I still haven’t figured out most of it yet, you’ll have to forgive me!)

Happy Holidays, everyone!