The Maltese Walter

Please enjoy the Boston Play Cafe’s newest episode: a reading of a ten minute noir parody, The Maltese Walter!

I was going to write a commentary, but instead (in the spirit of being brave and not apologizing for myself, which if I make resolutions should probably be one of them!) I will leave it here (and post my commentary later on, since it relates to other posts I’ve talked about writing). I will mention that they pronounce my middle name incorrectly, hee!

Happy New Year to you all, dear readers and watchers and listeners! I hope to interact more with all of you in the coming year while we all support each other on our journeys. I hope the coming year treats you with kindness, and you treat yourselves with compassion. I hope your year is full of all the people and things that you love, and I hope the world is kinder. Thank you all for every good thought and kind word you’ve sent my way over the years; I am forever and always humbled by the kindness shown me, and I hope to continue to try to pay it back. <3 A bright new year to you all!

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I just wanna feel okay again.

9.27.2014horoscope

I can definitely think of some things that might help with that today, and I’m going to take as best advantage of that as I possibly can.

In other news, despite the fact that I just seriously picked up the guitar over the past couple of months and have mainly been working on memorizing chord fingering and scale fingering and that sort of thing (you know, theory and technique and all that rather than diving into songs), I learned how to play my first song in less than a week. So far the hardest part of learning the guitar (for me) has been learning to strum properly, so I figured if I forced myself to learn to play along with something that would help. And it did!

I’ve had some emotional setbacks recently, but with the help of a few truly wonderful people that believe in me constantly and wholeheartedly, and the driving force of not letting myself wallow in sadness and instead using the way I felt to drive me to work to get better, I feel like I am back on my feet emotionally. (Wow, let’s talk about that run-on sentence there. That is a serious run-on sentence.)

And now my late-Saturday-morning/early-Saturday-afternoon ritual of coffee, breakfast, perusing auditions and browsing Tumblr continues!

you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

First things first: I did change my hair! It’s trimmed and darker and I hate it. Ha!  I dislike it enough that I am waiting to get it fixed before I get my headshots taken (that appointment was scheduled for earlier today).

(If you’d like to take a peek at my folly, this is what it looks like.)

The real point of today’s post is this, though: I feel like I’ve had quite a lot of near-misses lately.  Lots of callbacks and getting pretty far in the audition process and having people contact me/pick me out specifically from the online things I’ve submitted for…and I’ve still not gotten any actual jobs.

Maestro made the comment that “it’s like you’re trying to hit a target on the wall, but it’s so small, it’s just a dot. And you’re licking gummi bears and throwing them at the wall, trying to get them to stick to the dot. You just have to keep licking gummi bears.”  He was very proud of this metaphor. (Nerd.)

It’s tough, because I am glad that I’m at least getting some interest? But on the other hand, I’m a little disheartened, because I’ve failed to secure anything.  There’s a whole host of things that could be going on here but of course my mind goes to “oh you’re actually kind of weird looking on camera” or “oh you’re not a very good actress” as the primary things that I’m sure must be happening.

But – you know, I guess I just have to keep submitting and auditioning (and I have to get my hair fixed so I can have a proper headshot).  Honing my work, getting my audition monologues up to par. Keep throwing those gummi bears and see what sticks.

but together, you and I will laugh at last night someday.

No news is not good news, y’all.

No news is just no news.

I’ve actually really enjoyed auditioning for the last handful of things I’ve auditioned for (redundancy, thy name is the Acting Ingenue). The people I’ve auditioned for have been helpful and kind and upbeat and informative, and the auditions themselves have been relatively quick and painless. (With the exception for the one where I waited 3+ hours because it was a call for both Equity and non-Equity. They were still very kind! And the audition itself was very quick! I just have my doubts as to whether or not they even heard me at all after that amount of time listening to people sing. I know by then I was just hungry and tired, not even really nervous anymore, I can’t imagine how they felt.) I’ve felt positive about every one of them, and had my positive feelings reinforced by the feedback I received.

But it still stings when you don’t hear back.  There’s at least two of them that I was told I’ll hear back either way – if I got it or if I didn’t – but I’ve heard nothing so far and that’s still disheartening.

Dear casting directors of the world: even a form letter, I swear, would go a long way.

In any case, because I booked myself so busy for the past couple of weeks I don’t have a ton coming up this week or next (since I didn’t put as much time or effort in to looking for new things), though I do have a couple of things coming up.

Things I would like to keep in mind going forward:

  • don’t lose momentum!
  • I need to audition for more musicals!
  • and maybe choirs or choruses or something?
  • HEADSHOTS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I NEED REAL HEADSHOTS.
  • (which means I need to decide on what to do with my hair)
  • practice practice practice practice practice!
  • if it’s important enough you’ll find a way to keep moving forward.

And with that, the Acting Ingenue, signing off!!