come swiftly and run.

 

Good evening, my dear readers!

I hope you have all had a lovely holiday season thus far, and I am sharing a little musical throwback with you since I have been remiss about updating lately. I have something else I want to share soon but I haven’t quite worked up the nerve yet.

Here’s “Auld Lang Syne” from the 2012 Christmas album Maestro and I did – it’s probably one of my favorites, and I hope you enjoy it!

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getting so much better all the time.

Eh.

Well, I put off updating for a bit because I actually had a (I thought) quite successful audition a little over a week ago, and was hoping to hear back from them. It doesn’t look likely, though – and may I add that I just hate that trend? Maybe that’s been the case all along for auditions, but nowadays that seems to happen for “regular” job interviews, as well.  I understand that it’s uncomfortable and time consuming, but even a form letter would be nice.

I dream of a day one would get some kind of constructive criticism or feedback from every job interview or audition, but I realize that’s a pipe dream.

Anyway. I never heard back from them, which bummed me out. And it’s still kind of bumming me out!  I will not lie to you! I thought I was a pretty good fit for what they wanted, but someone else must have been better.

One of the things that’s dawned on me lately is the futility of angsting over anything that I can’t change or do anything about. I can’t change my bone structure or my height. I can’t control how other people feel about me or perceive me. I can’t control whether I get a gig or not. I can’t change the fact that I didn’t start taking singing lessons until I was past twenty; I can’t change the fact that my first voice teacher wasn’t really teaching me so much as giving me an opportunity to sing. I can’t change the fact that I didn’t study music earlier in my life. Instead, what I have endeavored to do is:

  • Go for a run or do some yoga. I can change how active I am and how comfortable I am in my body.
  • Study the music theory that Maestro has given me, or practice the guitar. I can progress from where I am now, even though I can’t go back in time.
  • Look for new opportunities and submit for them. I can optimize the time I have now.
  • Practice, practice, practice, practice, practice. Breathing, singing. I can’t go back in time to convince twelve-year-old-me that a beautiful singing voice is something you have to work at, not something you’re just gifted with, but I can improve now.

It’s made an enormous impact on my day to day life, not just in my creative endeavors but in how I conduct myself in lots of other ways.  I know that this is probably not something I will be able to do every day of my life – I’m way too neurotic and angsty not to have these issues crop up again – but it’s something that I am working on doing.

And as with everything else that I’ve been practicing lately, I am getting better.

music post: a Standard Christmas.

Okay, yes, I realize that it’s been quite a while since an update.  And I’ll have a real one soon, I promise! But for now: here’s Secret Government Eggo Project III: THE RECKONING a Standard Christmas.  (Yes, the period is part of the title.)  Called such both because it has become a standard part of our Christmas season, and also because it’s full of jazz standards.  Yes, we think we’re unbearably clever.

Please give it a listen, and let me know what you think! It is also available for purchase on my Bandcamp site!

a little bit of early Christmas cheer!

I never posted anything from last year’s Secret Government Eggo Project; I don’t remember why I didn’t.  I’m sure it had to do with  my many and varied insecurities; I just didn’t want to put myself out there last year.  Sometimes it’s just disheartening to be met with a resounding “meh”, you know what I mean?

This year, in the interests of Doing It Anyway (sort of my motto for the past few months), I’d love to share with you some of last year’s Secret Government Eggo Project II: Electric Boogaloo err…a (mostly) Disney Christmas!  We also did covers of “That’s How You Know” from Enchanted, “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes” from Cinderella, “When Somebody Loved Me” from Toy Story 2, “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid, and Vienna Teng’s “The Last Snowfall.”  These three are my favorite performances; Maestro joins me on “I See The Light” as Eugene. :)

(Here’s a link to my Bandcamp site, where you’ll also find 2011’s Secret Government Eggo Project.  Hopefully before too long this year’s Secret Government Eggo Project III: THE RECKONING will also be up!)

I hope your holiday season has been joyous and not too stressful so far, my dear darlings!  If you get the chance to listen, please let me know what you think!

audition prep 2013: day five! (and four!)

I’m going to confess, I took most of yesterday off from audition prepping.  I know what you’re thinking: SLACKER!  And you’re right. I spent most of yesterday cozied up watching The X-Files with Maestro.  Which was lovely, but doesn’t really help with preparing for auditions other than studying what Gillian Anderson can do with her face.

So today I thought to remedy that!  I’m sure I’ve mentioned here that I have singing anxiety (no, really?) and I feel as though I get most of my practicing done in the car where no-one can hear me.  I’ve actually made a bit of progress in that regard – I can practice at home as long as there’s no one else in the house!  Err, that might not sound like progress, but what if the neighbors hear me??

Today, not only did I practice while there were people in the house – I also recorded my practice!  I deleted it immediately after, but it was huge for me.  For one thing, it’s hard to hear how you actually sound when you’re inside your head, so that was helpful.  But also, I’ve been toying with the idea of doing some kind of vlog, and I thought getting used to the idea of being recorded while I sing (or whatever) would be a good idea.

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of video-recording it, which is why I ended up deleting it immediately afterwards, and now I’m angsting about my appearance.  Perhaaaaps I ought to have forgone that until after my audition on Monday, because now I’m all too aware of how I look while I sing and what I look like on camera (aka what I look like to other people) and I’m…not happy about it, to say the least. :\

I’ve been trying to be better about not indulging my insecurities lately – I’ve wondered if part of the reason I’ve become so insecure is because I’ve been indulging it at every opportunity, voicing it and and not even really trying to fight against it.  But today all I want to do is whine about how I’m not at all pretty from most angles and I have a terrible nose and no jawline and why am I even bothering I’m nowhere near pretty or thin enough to make it in any capacity wah wah wah wah WAHHH.

So even though I just indulged my insecurities, to try and counteract that, I’m going to also mention that I sounded pretty great singing “In My Own Little Corner.”  I feel as though I’m getting a ton more control over my voice.  It used to be that I would sound exactly how I wished sometimes and then other times I would sound like a rusty hinge and I wouldn’t even know why – I had no real technique or control over my voice.  Nowadays, I feel as though I’m getting a lot more, my vibrato isn’t as wide, and in general my musicality has gotten better.

So there’s the silver lining!  Maybe if I get over myself I’ll actually post some kind of audio or video later. Maybe.

the secret government eggo project is nigh.

And the Secret Government Eggo Project is a go!

PC finished arranging last night, and he and I finished burning and assembling CDs this afternoon, so the Secret Government Eggo Project is officially done!

As you all might have guessed, the Secret Government Eggo Project is, actually, an album. A Christmas album, to be exact! In the interests of putting myself out there, I’ve decided to share some of the album with all of you that have traveled along on my journey with me!

(Eventually I will write about my ~*feelings*~ with regards to this, but not just yet.)

christmas!: or the secret government eggo project

Click on the album art above to be taken to my brand spanking new Bandcamp site, where you can listen to and download a sampling of tracks from the album! (I still haven’t figured out most of it yet, you’ll have to forgive me!)

Happy Holidays, everyone!