I just wanna feel okay again.

9.27.2014horoscope

I can definitely think of some things that might help with that today, and I’m going to take as best advantage of that as I possibly can.

In other news, despite the fact that I just seriously picked up the guitar over the past couple of months and have mainly been working on memorizing chord fingering and scale fingering and that sort of thing (you know, theory and technique and all that rather than diving into songs), I learned how to play my first song in less than a week. So far the hardest part of learning the guitar (for me) has been learning to strum properly, so I figured if I forced myself to learn to play along with something that would help. And it did!

I’ve had some emotional setbacks recently, but with the help of a few truly wonderful people that believe in me constantly and wholeheartedly, and the driving force of not letting myself wallow in sadness and instead using the way I felt to drive me to work to get better, I feel like I am back on my feet emotionally. (Wow, let’s talk about that run-on sentence there. That is a serious run-on sentence.)

And now my late-Saturday-morning/early-Saturday-afternoon ritual of coffee, breakfast, perusing auditions and browsing Tumblr continues!

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so, what happens now?

HELLO, THE INTERNET!!!!

Long time, no write (and I feel as though I start off so many of my posts like this), and for that I am sorry!  I hope you all have been keeping well while I waste a lot of my time on tumblr!

So, let’s see! A bunch of things have happened since I last wrote:

  • I finished up my fourth semester at school (fifth if you count summer classes last year)!
  • I’m trying to figure out where to go from here, education-wise, which might end up in another post.
  • I haven’t auditioned for anything, because I am lazy/scared/ashamed of how long it’s been since I’ve been out of the game (so to speak).
  • Two laptops died on me :( but I got a lovely new one!
  • I got new headshots done, but they were terrible, so now I’m back to using a arms-length selfie as a headshot. YIKES.
  • I moved out! because:
  • Maestro asked me to marry him! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ (Link is to a gushy post on my personal tumblr, so if you’re into gushy personal posts: there it is!)

So I suppose I have been kind of busy, but it doesn’t mean that I’m letting myself off the hook. I actually have an audition tomorrow (what! yikes!), I’ve been taking singing lessons weekly for the past few months and I’ve yet to write about what a transformative experience it’s been to work with someone who cares about teaching me technique and theory and explaining the Why Is My Voice Doing This things I’ve always wondered about, Maestro and I have been working out a setlist (!!!) and he’s been teaching me guitar, and I have a couple more auditions coming up toward the end of the summer.

So there’s lots coming up here on The Acting Ingenue!  I do think my next trick will be to complete the “look” revamp of  my acting-related internet presence. I really ought to doodle something for a header on this blog (and maybe youtube and twitter and things like that).  Any ideas for that, dear readers?

but somehow, I can see just exactly how I’d be.

Gosh you guys!  I have been TERRIBLE over the past few weeks, have I not?  I’m stealing a few minutes before bed tonight (well, when I should already be in bed, really) to update.

In short, here’s what I’ve been working on –

  • I ended up being called in for two more days of extra work on the same movie!  Again, not really supposed to talk about it, but it’s definitely an enjoyable day’s work.  I don’t know how much extra work I’ll end up doing, for lots of reasons.  Maybe that’ll be the subject of my next vlog?
  • I had my first rehearsal for the Christmas show at the House of the Seven Gables a couple of weeks ago – I’ll be playing Beth March this time!
  • I had…one other audition? I think?  That I ended up not getting.
  • Last week, we had a rehearsal for the singing competition and I had to bail early to go to class so I have no idea what everyone sounds like?
  • Speaking of which, the competition is this Saturday!!!
  • L & I are going to spend Saturday morning catching up on recording a bunch of stuff we’ve practiced but not performed
  • Maestro and I’s Secret Government Eggo Project (III: THE RECKONING) is well underway!

In non-performing-related-but-busyness-related news, I’ve also been attempting National Novel Writing Month, I started a new job!, and schoolwork has been piling up.  Part of the reason I decided to do NaNoWriMo this year is that I am often better at managing my time when I’m a little overbooked (because I have to be!).  Hopefully I’ll be able to do a vlog or monovlog again in the next week or so!

I also want to thank David-Matthew Barnes for stopping by my blog with some incredibly kind words.  I am still a little bit beside myself!

just as long as I stay in my own little corner.

the Paramount Center

Wow, it’s been a week and a half – ugh, and I was doing so well for a while there!  I feel like I completely lost momentum over the past week.  I even have a monologue or two all memorized that I could have recorded and uploaded by now.  I’m more disappointed with myself than thinking anyone is out there waiting with bated breath, but still – I’m very sorry, you guys!  

I was a bit busy last week, actually!  Not busy enough that I couldn’t have kept on top of things, but still – pretty busy! The highlights (for this blog, anyway) were –

  • I spent Monday on a movie set, doing my very first movie extra work!!  I’m not allowed to talk much about it (like, reveal the project name, or – I think – talk about who’s in it), but it’s a Hollywood feature film and my bum might be making its film debut whenever it is that they’re releasing the film!  Hooray!  (Plus, I got paid!)
  • Wednesday I had an audition in Boston at Emerson College for some of their student films/student film class.  I’m really looking for ways that I can get footage for a reel and this looked like a great way to do that. It was an interesting experience, I’ve never auditioned for a camera before.  It’s always a nice feeling to make the auditors laugh!   It’s been over a week and I haven’t heard from them, so I’m left to assume I didn’t get any of the parts they were casting.
  • I narrowed down my song choices for the upcoming singing competition – either “If I Loved You” (from Carousel) or “Think of Me” (from Phantom of the Opera), I still haven’t quite decided yet.
  • Oh and I ended up being in the paper for that, too!

Since I sort of lost momentum on finding new things to do last week, I didn’t have anything exciting lined up for this week. I’m poking around now, though, and I’ve found a couple of interesting-looking things to submit or audition for.  Last week was a pretty draining week, emotionally, and next week is my first week at my new “real” job, so I’m trying very hard to keep my momentum going!

It looks like it’ll be a few more days til I get to record anything, too, unless I can wake myself up early enough tomorrow or Saturday to try and get my first monovlog* up, which I’ll definitely try to do!

*(Monovlog = monologue vlog (vlog = video blog!)!) (parentheses!!!) 

I can be whoever I want to be!

I was hoping to have some good news within the next few days, and it turns out…I do!

I actually did make it into the top ten for the singing competition!!

giselle_omgyay

 

I am so ridiculously thrilled, everyone!! :D  I can’t even really express!

Of course, this means I need to pick a new song – and I need to get working on it! The benefit is November 9th, so I have plenty of time.

I have a few other things in the works right now (some of which I really actually can’t talk about rather than just me being paranoid), but I needed to let everyone know about this – I’m so excited, I can’t believe it!!!!

vlog: exciting audition times!!

“…like a NERD.”

As before, I’m at both vimeo and youtube, whichever is more your viewing pleasure. :D

So, like I talked about in the video, I had an audition yesterday!

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audition prep 2013: day three!

[This is where the picture of my new monologue and scene books would go if I’d remembered to bring them in from my car]

Here’s where I apologize for not taking any pictures today!: Sorry! (Or not any applicable pictures; I guess I could post the one I took of my teacup.)

What I did do today (cough yesterday) was this:

  • sang A LOT; like a lot a lot
  • yoga!
  • had an extremely productive conversation with D about the direction my life is going
  • SO MANY IDEAS!
  • (it’s so nice everyone is so excited about this with me??)
  • used a gift card from last Christmas to purchase some monologue and scenework books

Not to mention the fact that I had a similarly productive conversation with B yesterday – everyone in my life has been very enthusiastic about my getting back into theatre and performing, which I can only think is a good thing!  It does seem (a little) like things have conspired to make me feel this way – that I need to go back to it in some form – and who am I to argue with the universe, I guess?

To make up for the short post and lack of picture today, here is a hilarious video of outtakes my darling L edited together today for a tiny little blog!  (I had never heard this song at all until about ten minutes before we started recording it, hence how TERRIBLE I am at both singing it and remembering the (many) lyrics.)  (Like, seriously, Taylor Swift.) You can find the “real” video here!

the secret government eggo project is nigh.

And the Secret Government Eggo Project is a go!

PC finished arranging last night, and he and I finished burning and assembling CDs this afternoon, so the Secret Government Eggo Project is officially done!

As you all might have guessed, the Secret Government Eggo Project is, actually, an album. A Christmas album, to be exact! In the interests of putting myself out there, I’ve decided to share some of the album with all of you that have traveled along on my journey with me!

(Eventually I will write about my ~*feelings*~ with regards to this, but not just yet.)

christmas!: or the secret government eggo project

Click on the album art above to be taken to my brand spanking new Bandcamp site, where you can listen to and download a sampling of tracks from the album! (I still haven’t figured out most of it yet, you’ll have to forgive me!)

Happy Holidays, everyone!

when the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even.

I have been deep, deep into self-loathing mode for the past couple of weeks, at least as far as singing (and acting, and Oh God What Am I Doing With My Life Someone Please Just Throw Me Off A Cliff So I Don’t Need To Make Decisions) goes. Which is why I haven’t been updating, despite the fact that yet more progress has been made on the Secret Government Eggo Project and the Christmas show goes up this weekend.

I figured no-one would want to hear about how yet another session went by where I started off with the highest of hopes but then plummeted back down into the valley of self-loathing and decided to call off the project entirely, only to have a fight with PC and decide not to abandon it after all. I figured no-one would want to hear yet again about how I loathe the sound of my own singing voice. And I’m probably right, so that’s the last of it (FOR NOW, she intoned ominously).

So! Progress actually HAS been made on the SGEP, and this week we’re looking to work almost every day to get my contributions (such as they are) all wrapped up. And then the magic of trying to make it sound good starts, a task that I do not envy. (Hahaha I lied about being done with the self-loathing.)

This weekend is the first weekend of the Christmas show – yay! We have dress rehearsal on Thursday and then the show starts again! I am looking forward to it, while also trying to keep an ear to the ground for anything that might be coming up soon. I am enjoying this – I mean, come on, I’m getting paid to play a teenaged Amy March at this point and sit around a beautiful historical house for a couple of hours in costume – but I look forward to getting to audition for things again, as well.

Oh, and someone contacted me about – essentially – doing photoshoots for a graphic novel, which might be interesting! I have to do a little bit of research and then also dig up my high-quality headshots to send along (as an “audition”). Note to self: remember to do that tonight. That might be fun, if I did get it!

Tonight, though, PC and I get down to business to defeat the huns to finish up the SGEP. I will stay positive! I will, I will!

shut your eyes and sing to me.

809334th verse, same as the first.

I probably don’t need to regale you all yet again with the tales of my low self-esteem and various Issues with my singing voice, but I’m going to force myself to do it anyway because maybe addressing some of these issues will help me sort them out.

…aaaand of course after I write that I immediately distract myself with something else. Good job there.

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