you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

First things first: I did change my hair! It’s trimmed and darker and I hate it. Ha!  I dislike it enough that I am waiting to get it fixed before I get my headshots taken (that appointment was scheduled for earlier today).

(If you’d like to take a peek at my folly, this is what it looks like.)

The real point of today’s post is this, though: I feel like I’ve had quite a lot of near-misses lately.  Lots of callbacks and getting pretty far in the audition process and having people contact me/pick me out specifically from the online things I’ve submitted for…and I’ve still not gotten any actual jobs.

Maestro made the comment that “it’s like you’re trying to hit a target on the wall, but it’s so small, it’s just a dot. And you’re licking gummi bears and throwing them at the wall, trying to get them to stick to the dot. You just have to keep licking gummi bears.”  He was very proud of this metaphor. (Nerd.)

It’s tough, because I am glad that I’m at least getting some interest? But on the other hand, I’m a little disheartened, because I’ve failed to secure anything.  There’s a whole host of things that could be going on here but of course my mind goes to “oh you’re actually kind of weird looking on camera” or “oh you’re not a very good actress” as the primary things that I’m sure must be happening.

But – you know, I guess I just have to keep submitting and auditioning (and I have to get my hair fixed so I can have a proper headshot).  Honing my work, getting my audition monologues up to par. Keep throwing those gummi bears and see what sticks.

but together, you and I will laugh at last night someday.

No news is not good news, y’all.

No news is just no news.

I’ve actually really enjoyed auditioning for the last handful of things I’ve auditioned for (redundancy, thy name is the Acting Ingenue). The people I’ve auditioned for have been helpful and kind and upbeat and informative, and the auditions themselves have been relatively quick and painless. (With the exception for the one where I waited 3+ hours because it was a call for both Equity and non-Equity. They were still very kind! And the audition itself was very quick! I just have my doubts as to whether or not they even heard me at all after that amount of time listening to people sing. I know by then I was just hungry and tired, not even really nervous anymore, I can’t imagine how they felt.) I’ve felt positive about every one of them, and had my positive feelings reinforced by the feedback I received.

But it still stings when you don’t hear back.  There’s at least two of them that I was told I’ll hear back either way – if I got it or if I didn’t – but I’ve heard nothing so far and that’s still disheartening.

Dear casting directors of the world: even a form letter, I swear, would go a long way.

In any case, because I booked myself so busy for the past couple of weeks I don’t have a ton coming up this week or next (since I didn’t put as much time or effort in to looking for new things), though I do have a couple of things coming up.

Things I would like to keep in mind going forward:

  • don’t lose momentum!
  • I need to audition for more musicals!
  • and maybe choirs or choruses or something?
  • HEADSHOTS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I NEED REAL HEADSHOTS.
  • (which means I need to decide on what to do with my hair)
  • practice practice practice practice practice!
  • if it’s important enough you’ll find a way to keep moving forward.

And with that, the Acting Ingenue, signing off!!

every cadenza delights, every cadence floats.

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So you know, other than the fact that I’m a ridiculous and sometimes embarrassing human being, that audition went well.

I have a feeling I won’t know how that went unless I get it, which is fine!  I think it went okay – the character had changed since I last auditioned, I got to find out what the actual project is, etc etc.

I got through my recorded audition and my Skype audition as well (my laptop does not have a webcam, but I do apparently have a Skype account if you were wondering!). It was my first Skype audition and only my second recorded audition, which – blehhhh, I really hate recorded auditions but that could be because

  • I hate watching my face
  • I hate monologues/not having anyone to read off of
  • I really don’t think I come across well on camera facewise (I FEEL LIKE THIS MAY BE A PROBLEM?)
  • Since I can watch it back over I start analyzing and overanalyzing and wondering “well wait a minute maybe I can’t actually act at all?”
  • related to that, if I’m not pleased with a recording I do it over and over until maybe it actually IS terrible but I can’t actually tell anymore?
  • also, my face.

Anyway.  (It’s amazing how quickly I can go from “wow look at me go! I’m doing things I’m afraid of even though I’m afraid!” to “wow I am a troll, why does anyone let me out of the house?”)

So this week, I have a singing lesson today and then an audition on Thursday.  It’ll be my first audition with any kind of singing in…quite some time, actually, so Maestro has been kind enough to help me run my two cuts of sixteen bars into the ground.  (The neighbors are confused, I’m sure.) Someday soon I should make a post (or gasp! a video!) about my new singing teacher and how much I am learning in and enjoying lessons nowadays!

Life’s pretty good here at Chez Acting Ingenue (well, Chez Muse and Maestro, unless this blog is my house?) and I can’t really ask for anything more.

Sending out love and encouragement and happiness to you all, since I seem to have an excess of it at the moment! ^^;;;

will wonders never cease?

Okay, so! I spoke too soon! Posted too soon!  You know what I mean!

I did actually get called back for the thing that I thought I hadn’t gotten called back for! (…I’m an actress, not an English teacher, what do you want from me? Correct sentence structure?)  I just found out earlier today, so: YAY!!!

It’s actually going to be kind of a busy week or so for me –

  • The callback for that (on Friday)
  • Video audition (to record & send out this week)
  • Skype audition (have to schedule, but probably this week) (…do I even have Skype? does this laptop have a webcam???)
  • Another fairly big audition (next week; singing involved, ahh!)

I feel like there’s something else I’m forgetting but I’m forgetting it so clearly I don’t remember.

It’s nice to feel motivated and as though my motivation is actually gaining momentum.  Not that I expect anything out of these auditions (I never expect anything, let’s be real), but it doesn’t feel completely hopeless.

I guess Maestro was right: “you need to not care so much.”  Not in that I shouldn’t have passion, not that I shouldn’t be invested. Obviously I should feel those things, but caring about things like – am I too fat to audition for this, shouldn’t I have a proper headshot and a real haircut, I’m not a ~sexy~ girl I can’t audition for that, I can’t sing I shouldn’t audition for these things. And on and on and on.

Maybe all those things are true. Who cares? Let them decide. I can’t make up their minds for them.

I can be whoever I want to be!

I was hoping to have some good news within the next few days, and it turns out…I do!

I actually did make it into the top ten for the singing competition!!

giselle_omgyay

 

I am so ridiculously thrilled, everyone!! :D  I can’t even really express!

Of course, this means I need to pick a new song – and I need to get working on it! The benefit is November 9th, so I have plenty of time.

I have a few other things in the works right now (some of which I really actually can’t talk about rather than just me being paranoid), but I needed to let everyone know about this – I’m so excited, I can’t believe it!!!!

a real actress!

Dear readers, I have wonderfully good news to impart to you today!

Your protagonist for the duration of this blog, one acting ingénue, is now officially a working actress!

Or, as Satine would say:

"a REAL actress!"

a REAL actress!

Hee! :D

This is the audition I mentioned in my last post, obliquely. It is for a museum in Salem, Massachusetts for the duration of the Halloween season. (Thankfully – THANKFULLY – the performances don’t start until after my bff D’s wedding!) I love Salem, I love Halloween, I love Victorian literature – especially Gothic novels!, I love history, and I love, love, love, love, LOVE feeling as though people believe in what I can do!

I got the job before I even left the audition, which is rare (to say the least) – the director pulled me aside on the conceit that she was asking me how far I’d had to drive but as people started to filter out she told me that she definitely wanted to cast me (though she wasn’t sure in which part, yet). :D! I cannot even begin to express how thrilled I am that she wanted to cast me right off the bat – !!

I also talked to her about possibly coming to do the Christmas show, depending on who she has coming back from last year, which would be amazing as well!

Unfortunately, I had to “give notice” for Grease yesterday as well. As sad as it was – and it was sad! the director and the stage manager both went “nooooooo!!” when I told them – they were all very happy for me, and I didn’t burn any bridges. They told me definitely to come back if they’re doing something in the future. I was glad that I went down in person to talk to them about it instead of chickening out and calling (like I wanted to).

Tonight was my very first rehearsal and I couldn’t be more excited!!

stranded at the drive-in. branded a fool.

So here is where I remind myself yet again that I sometimes actually have reasons for doing the things that I do and not all the things I do are bad or unhelpful. Sometimes I actually do things to protect myself and that’s good!

I heard about Grease casting last night, and…I was offered the role of Frenchy.

Now, I said a couple posts back that I would have liked to have been called back for Frenchy – which is true! it’s a great part! I just wasn’t expecting it (since I wasn’t called back for it, and I didn’t read for it at all) and now I’m trying to figure out if I want to do it or not.

I know a good deal of how I’m feeling right now (disappointed, confused) is that I got my heart set on playing Sandy, and that I kept telling people I’d been called back for Sandy. And here is where I finally make my decision:

It’s okay not to talk about what show or what part I’m auditioning for before I know the outcome.

At least, with people in real life. I don’t mind posting about it on the blog because I suppose this is yet another blog that I sort of use as therapy. But not talking to people in real life about what part or show I’m auditioning for, well, it saves a lot of embarrassment down the road. It might make me superstitious or whatnot, but at this point I’m not that worried about it.

Anyway! So, I’m not sure if I’m planning on doing the show or not at this point (rehearsals don’t start up for a while? not this weekend but next weekend), but at least I’ve learned that much about myself.

I really flipped over that grey cashmere sweater!

So…callbacks last night went well!

The biggest problem I saw while I was there is that they are sorely lacking in the male department. So…sending that request out into the universe. MALES. THEY NEED YOU.

I got to sing for both Sandy and Marty, but I only read for Marty once and then read for Sandy a bunch of times; I think my Sandy readings and singing went better than my Marty stuff. (It doesn’t help that I forgot that “Freddy, My Love ” is kind of low for me?) I felt really good about my readings in general, but I suppose compared to finding my break halfway through “Freddy, My Love” anything would be better! (Eeek!)

I had the bonus fun of seeing a couple of my Into the Woods castmates at auditions last night, including my “momma” (who was auditioning for Rizzo). I didn’t realize how much I missed them!

So hopefully we’ll hear something by Friday. I’m not sure what they’re planning on doing if they can’t get enough guys, but hopefully we’ll hear one way or the other.

tell me more, tell me more!

whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wheee, I got a callback!!

For Sandy and Marty!!!
(Those are the two I really wanted, though I wouldn’t have minded Frenchy or Patty Simcox either.)

So, to-do list:
Download Grease soundtrack (no, I don’t have it – what kind of a theatre kid am I?)
Learn ALL THE SONGS (the ones I don’t know) before Sunday?

I’m never really sure how to prepare for a callback! I can at least thank the heavens above that I didn’t get called back for Cha-Cha, so there’s no advanced dance audition. :)

>why’d I pick these shoes? why’d I pick this song?

>…I think I just accidentally published this post as a blank. Oops.

So, last night’s callback didn’t go as well as I would have hoped. I didn’t get called back for the part I really wanted, so I sort of mentally checked out about halfway through the callback process. I’d already decided that if I didn’t get the part I really, really wanted that I wouldn’t do the show – it’s just too inconvenient to get to and from the place for a part I would be less than happy with. I did get asked to join the ensemble, which is great because it was a surprisingly competitive audition process, but I know I won’t be able to commit to it.

Thankfully, I’m looking at it as more audition experience, which is always welcome! Auditioning is probably the scariest part of acting for me, and acting can sometimes go some scary places!

I do have a couple more hopeful auditions in the next few weeks, so I’m looking forward to those!