I can definitely think of some things that might help with that today, and I’m going to take as best advantage of that as I possibly can.
In other news, despite the fact that I just seriously picked up the guitar over the past couple of months and have mainly been working on memorizing chord fingering and scale fingering and that sort of thing (you know, theory and technique and all that rather than diving into songs), I learned how to play my first song in less than a week. So far the hardest part of learning the guitar (for me) has been learning to strum properly, so I figured if I forced myself to learn to play along with something that would help. And it did!
I’ve had some emotional setbacks recently, but with the help of a few truly wonderful people that believe in me constantly and wholeheartedly, and the driving force of not letting myself wallow in sadness and instead using the way I felt to drive me to work to get better, I feel like I am back on my feet emotionally. (Wow, let’s talk about that run-on sentence there. That is a serious run-on sentence.)
And now my late-Saturday-morning/early-Saturday-afternoon ritual of coffee, breakfast, perusing auditions and browsing Tumblr continues!
First things first: I did change my hair! It’s trimmed and darker and I hate it. Ha! I dislike it enough that I am waiting to get it fixed before I get my headshots taken (that appointment was scheduled for earlier today).
(If you’d like to take a peek at my folly, this is what it looks like.)
The real point of today’s post is this, though: I feel like I’ve had quite a lot of near-misses lately. Lots of callbacks and getting pretty far in the audition process and having people contact me/pick me out specifically from the online things I’ve submitted for…and I’ve still not gotten any actual jobs.
Maestro made the comment that “it’s like you’re trying to hit a target on the wall, but it’s so small, it’s just a dot. And you’re licking gummi bears and throwing them at the wall, trying to get them to stick to the dot. You just have to keep licking gummi bears.” He was very proud of this metaphor. (Nerd.)
It’s tough, because I am glad that I’m at least getting some interest? But on the other hand, I’m a little disheartened, because I’ve failed to secure anything. There’s a whole host of things that could be going on here but of course my mind goes to “oh you’re actually kind of weird looking on camera” or “oh you’re not a very good actress” as the primary things that I’m sure must be happening.
But – you know, I guess I just have to keep submitting and auditioning (and I have to get my hair fixed so I can have a proper headshot). Honing my work, getting my audition monologues up to par. Keep throwing those gummi bears and see what sticks.