Okay, so! I spoke too soon! Posted too soon! You know what I mean!
I did actually get called back for the thing that I thought I hadn’t gotten called back for! (…I’m an actress, not an English teacher, what do you want from me? Correct sentence structure?) I just found out earlier today, so: YAY!!!
It’s actually going to be kind of a busy week or so for me –
- The callback for that (on Friday)
- Video audition (to record & send out this week)
- Skype audition (have to schedule, but probably this week) (…do I even have Skype? does this laptop have a webcam???)
- Another fairly big audition (next week; singing involved, ahh!)
I feel like there’s something else I’m forgetting but I’m forgetting it so clearly I don’t remember.
It’s nice to feel motivated and as though my motivation is actually gaining momentum. Not that I expect anything out of these auditions (I never expect anything, let’s be real), but it doesn’t feel completely hopeless.
I guess Maestro was right: “you need to not care so much.” Not in that I shouldn’t have passion, not that I shouldn’t be invested. Obviously I should feel those things, but caring about things like – am I too fat to audition for this, shouldn’t I have a proper headshot and a real haircut, I’m not a ~sexy~ girl I can’t audition for that, I can’t sing I shouldn’t audition for these things. And on and on and on.
Maybe all those things are true. Who cares? Let them decide. I can’t make up their minds for them.