as our days pass in the emptiness away.

Today I worked on
The Willow Song
Batti, Batti
Thank Goodness, from Wicked

Today was another three-steps-backwards day. I don’t know what my issue is lately; I always have a problem getting myself out of my head while I sing but last week and this week have been exceptionally bad. I don’t know if it’s that I just feel like I’ll never really get any better so why bother, but when I’m in my lesson I’m trying so hard and nothing sounds right!

It’s all the same things: “stop forcing vibrato, stop trying to sing from your throat, sing up and outwards, sing like a laser beam” (haha), “pull it to the front of your head, you have to place EVERY NOTE the way you place high notes.” These are all things I can conceptualize in my brain, all things that make perfect sense to me and should be able to be translated to my physicality. But nooooo. I know the way I place notes is a habit, but I don’t know how to break it and MP just says “do it,” like it’s that easy.

I don’t know what to do! I don’t know what to do! I don’t know how to fix it and my recital is on the twenty-second and who knows if I’ll be able to sing anything then! Argh!

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