in dreams, you will lose your heartaches.

Today I worked on
Once Upon a Dream, Disney’s Sleeping Beauty
A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes, Disney’s Cinderella
The Willow Song, The Ballad of Baby Doe

Today’s singing lesson went well, and I actually enjoyed myself. (Those are two totally separate things sometimes.) MP and I did a lot of chatting about what would be expected of me in case they did want me to sing at my audition, which frankly I’m pretty sure they won’t, but it’s always good to be prepared just in case.

One of the best things I did at this lesson was to figure out how to do my downward placement properly. I’ve been practicing on my own in the shower (with humming! I still haven’t gotten over my omg-someone-might-hear issue) and in the car, but it’s good to know that I’m actually doing it right. It feels right, and I can tell when I’m doing it properly, which is fantastic. It’s just a bad habit I need to break at this point rather than “oh no I have no idea what she wants me to do or how to do it!”

In other news, I am completely and utterly in love with The Willow Song. I wish I could really explain why. It’s so different from what I normally would be attracted to, singing-wise; normally I’m attracted to the soubrette roles or the lighter lyric/coloratura arias. Not that The Willow Song is dark or really dramatic, it’s just…sad and contemplative and plaintive, and I love that. MP keeps slyly pushing it as my recital piece. (“So we’re going to look at The Willow Song, and speaking of the recital…”)

For the past couple of weeks, the student MP has after me (a high-school-age boy) has been coming in early and just sitting and listening to the end of my lesson. I have a sneaking suspicion MP told him it would be good for him to do that, as I can’t imagine him actually wanting to come in early to hear me? It’s somewhat unnerving (hi my name is j and I have issues singing in front of people!), but at the same time it’s also good practice! I guess! He was actually surprisingly sweet about my singing, which was…nice. (I think I hid behind my hands at some point and mumbled thank-you because I’m physically unable to take a compliment gracefully.)

Tomorrow night at this time I’ll be sitting on an airplane going to Florida. (I’ll be a little less than forty-five minutes from landing.) And forty-eight hours from now I’ll know how my audition went and if I feel I can be proud of it. I really hope that I can at least come away saying that I did my best, that I didn’t freeze up and that I didn’t act meek and underconfident. Maybe I am meek and underconfident, but they don’t need to know that! Disney Heroines and Disney Princesses aren’t unsure of their lot in life or what they want, and those are the parts I’ll be playing while I’m there.

Wish me luck! (But in a theatre-appropriate sort of way.) <3

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