>the belle of new orleans tried to show me once how to tango

>Today I worked on
The Doll Song (again)
V’Adoro, Pupille
(I find the countertenor/alto Julius Caesar somewhat hilarious, I have to admit.)

I don’t know if it’s because MP wasn’t feeling well so she wasn’t up to correcting me too much today or what, but I don’t feel like I got a whole lot accomplished today at my lesson? I mean, I sang through the first part of the Doll Song and then the entirety of V’Adoro Pupille a couple of times, but. I don’t know. :|

I guess I could say to myself “maybe you sounded good today? :D?” but I think that would be a lie!

In other news, rehearsal was fun! Not a whole lot of singing for me in the second act, but I got to meet our new music director, M. He is pretty fantastic, and seems to be very strict (my favorite!!) and willing to whip us into shape. Which we need, since we haven’t had any musical direction at all for about three weeks.

My throat is killing me from screaming so much, though. Most of my second-act stuff is screaming.

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>la chanson d’Olympia!

>Today I worked on
The Doll Song
(This is still my favorite version/rendition of this song despite the fact that she seems to be a crazy person rather than a doll. ♥ Natalie is my favorite, and if I could trade places with anyone in the entire world it would probably be her.)

Notes from today’s lesson:
Okay, “Les oiseaux dans la charmille” is basically my pie-in-the-sky, someday-I’d-like-to-attempt-this-and-not-sound-totally-foolish song, despite the fact that I wouldn’t consider myself much of a coloratura (ahahahaha why would a non-coloratura even look at this D:). But today I forgot my soprano aria songbook and only had my coloratura aria book. (why do I even have a coloratura aria book) And rather than go for “Poor Wand’ring One” MP decided I ought to go big or go home.

She was very sharp with me every time I made a horrible face at my horrible slip-ups. Normally I can get her to laugh at me because I’m clearly being very self-deprecating when I do it (that is basically the entire point of it; telegraphing “I don’t really sing like that!” by way of facial expression). But not today! Today it was just “stop that. just sing it right and you won’t need to make faces.”

My biggest issue right now is dragging notes down, pitch-wise, especially if they are descending notes. I see “down!” on the page, my brain thinks “down!” and instead of aiming for the middle or coming down on top of a note I drag it down and it gets wobbly.

Contributing to this is my placement, which I need to unlearn. Unfortunately up until I started studying with MP I was self-‘taught’ (a.k.a. I spent a lot of time singing along to arias and Broadway cast recordings) and therefore do a lot of back-of-throat-singing for high-but-not-too-high notes (ie in my passagio; a.k.a. exactly where “Verdrai Carino” sits in my voice, hence why I hate singing it so much). She says I have good natural placement of high to very high notes, I just for some reason can’t place the rest of the notes there. This is a mental thing, I imagine (as so much of singing is). There’s no reason those notes can’t be placed where they ought to be, I just don’t do it! And I can feel it, it feels wrong when I do it that way.

>got a cloud sleeping on my tongue

>today I worked on
Batti, Batti O Bel Masetto
Verdrai Carino

Notes from lesson:
The most important note this week was MP telling me not to go “ugh!” or make noises/faces and distract myself/psych myself out. I do this every time I hit a wrong note or something just sounds icky to my ear (even if I have no idea why).

The idea of a vertical/horizontal/diagonal trajectory of sound; like a laser beam!

Argh why can’t I act while I sing? D:

GOOD GOD I HATE VERDRAI CARINO SO VERY MUCH. SO SO SO MUCH.

“I think that most good performers have a lot of feelings and are riddled with angst, you know.”
(I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS.) What’s hilarious is that I would say that I am normally very shiny-bouncy around MP, always smiling and giggling (and making fun of myself). It’s…not surprising, but kind of scary that she can see through to the angsty mess I am underneath all the fluff.

Talked about how in a perfect world I would work for the Paris Opera chorus (I don’t even want to sing leads or anything, guys! I just want to be in your chorus, please), have a little flat in Paris and spend my days drinking chocolat and walking around and singing. Good gracious I want that life; so badly I almost want to cry thinking about it.