“…like a NERD.”
So, like I talked about in the video, I had an audition yesterday!
I want to make sure that I mention that Objective: Audition Prep 2013 wasn’t just to prepare for that one audition. It’s going to be an ongoing process.
I’ve either read, or had someone tell me once, that if you want to be an actor auditioning is your job. The emphasis was on that there are so many factors that go into whether you get cast in something or not (your hair, your face, your prospective costar’s height, the fact that the costume will only fit a size double-zero, and on and on ad infinitum) that you can’t think of the part after you get cast as being your job. The only thing you have control over is your audition. The audition is your actual job.
I’ve been lazy with this, of course. I hate memorizing monologues if I’m not actually going to be performing them. But that’s just it – the audition IS a performance. I am guilty of thinking of auditions as only auditions, but another piece of advice I’ve been given (or read?) is that every audition is like a two-minute one-person show where you can show off exactly what and how you want to – and you should.
To that end, part of what I’m going to be using my brand-new vlog for is to have an excuse to perform my audition material! (All the credit goes to my BFF D for this brilliant idea.) Monologues, mostly, but maybe eventually songs as well. Not only will I familiarize myself with more monologues this way, I’ll have a reason to learn them to begin with. Learn them, and polish them into something worth recording. I’m feeling pretty enthusiastic about this idea!
In other news, I spent a few hours this afternoon hunting down film auditions (mostly student film) and sending off resumes and headshots. I’m really hoping to hear back from some of them, simply because I would love to have some kind of demo reel up online as well. It’s a huge part of getting cast nowadays, and I have literally nothing, since all my work has been stage work. Fingers crossed!!
“…because apparently the people who make these decisions are robots.”
my very first video blog!
I talk about the Big Audition that I’ve been blogging about for a week, how I’m picking myself back up after my nerves, and why it’s okay to be scared.
There’s a lot of rambling in this, I definitely could have stayed on-point a little better, people walk by my window and you can actually literally see me blush in embarrassment, but I wanted to do this and get it up today, specifically.
And now I’m going to run away and ignore the internet for a while.
I’m going to confess, I took most of yesterday off from audition prepping. I know what you’re thinking: SLACKER! And you’re right. I spent most of yesterday cozied up watching The X-Files with Maestro. Which was lovely, but doesn’t really help with preparing for auditions other than studying what Gillian Anderson can do with her face.
So today I thought to remedy that! I’m sure I’ve mentioned here that I have singing anxiety (no, really?) and I feel as though I get most of my practicing done in the car where no-one can hear me. I’ve actually made a bit of progress in that regard – I can practice at home as long as there’s no one else in the house! Err, that might not sound like progress, but what if the neighbors hear me??
Today, not only did I practice while there were people in the house – I also recorded my practice! I deleted it immediately after, but it was huge for me. For one thing, it’s hard to hear how you actually sound when you’re inside your head, so that was helpful. But also, I’ve been toying with the idea of doing some kind of vlog, and I thought getting used to the idea of being recorded while I sing (or whatever) would be a good idea.
Unfortunately, I made the mistake of video-recording it, which is why I ended up deleting it immediately afterwards, and now I’m angsting about my appearance. Perhaaaaps I ought to have forgone that until after my audition on Monday, because now I’m all too aware of how I look while I sing and what I look like on camera (aka what I look like to other people) and I’m…not happy about it, to say the least. :\
I’ve been trying to be better about not indulging my insecurities lately – I’ve wondered if part of the reason I’ve become so insecure is because I’ve been indulging it at every opportunity, voicing it and and not even really trying to fight against it. But today all I want to do is whine about how I’m not at all pretty from most angles and I have a terrible nose and no jawline and why am I even bothering I’m nowhere near pretty or thin enough to make it in any capacity wah wah wah wah WAHHH.
So even though I just indulged my insecurities, to try and counteract that, I’m going to also mention that I sounded pretty great singing “In My Own Little Corner.” I feel as though I’m getting a ton more control over my voice. It used to be that I would sound exactly how I wished sometimes and then other times I would sound like a rusty hinge and I wouldn’t even know why – I had no real technique or control over my voice. Nowadays, I feel as though I’m getting a lot more, my vibrato isn’t as wide, and in general my musicality has gotten better.
So there’s the silver lining! Maybe if I get over myself I’ll actually post some kind of audio or video later. Maybe.
[This is where the picture of my new monologue and scene books would go if I'd remembered to bring them in from my car]
Here’s where I apologize for not taking any pictures today!: Sorry! (Or not any applicable pictures; I guess I could post the one I took of my teacup.)
What I did do today (cough yesterday) was this:
Not to mention the fact that I had a similarly productive conversation with B yesterday – everyone in my life has been very enthusiastic about my getting back into theatre and performing, which I can only think is a good thing! It does seem (a little) like things have conspired to make me feel this way – that I need to go back to it in some form – and who am I to argue with the universe, I guess?
To make up for the short post and lack of picture today, here is a hilarious video of outtakes my darling L edited together today for a tiny little blog! (I had never heard this song at all until about ten minutes before we started recording it, hence how TERRIBLE I am at both singing it and remembering the (many) lyrics.) (Like, seriously, Taylor Swift.) You can find the “real” video here!